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"grave slot"

last night i went out for a burrito.
when i checked my phone later, i had several missed calls from a number i didn't recognize-
and 3 voicemails.
they are so bizarre that i had to share-
i took out some of the names cos i feel (sorta) bad putting someone's personal junk on a blog.

1st first voicemail:
(***in a very, very southern, raspy young woman's voice)
"Jeremy, i want you to call me.
this is Sxx.
ain't nobody takin your mama's grave slot.
i don't know how this whole story got started up.....
but i'd like to talk to ya.


2nd voicemail:

3rd voicemail:
"alexis stop runnin!
i would like for you to please give me a call.
i don't know how this mess got started.
no one said they were gonna take that grave slot.
i just asked.
Txxxx had already had a spot when i got-
no one in my family told me to call and ask about that grave slot.
i did that out of my own will.
so if you're mad at anyone please get mad at me.
not the rest of my family.


and this morning i had another voicemail:
uh. please call me. this is Sxx.
i just wanted to clear up the record.
uh, i don't know what all Lxxxx said.
what all Lxxxx told. i don't know.
there's nobody down here runnin your family down- that i've been heard of.
and nobody's takin your mama's grave.
or just ask your mama call me and i'll assure you- your mom... nobody's takin her grave.
nobody was takin her grave to start with.
cos Txxxx had already found a spot when i was just askin
nobody told me-
my brother, my dad
nobody told me to call and ask y'all.
that was all my own doing.
so don't get mad at my family. was me, jeremy.

and i'll talk to you later, bye"


Rob said...

don't you think you should call her back and explain that no one is mad at her she just has the wrong number... and that grave slot competition is fierce this time of year she needs to check those digits.

ear pwr said...

i think i should.
but... she sounds really crazy and i'm scared.
& she always calls when i'm not near my phone!

Stockard Channing said...